Women's Division 2 Team 1: Season Preview

Let me introduce the Bullets Div 2 Team 1 coached by the one
and only French queen Pauline! Much like their coach this team appears sweet
and nice but when they step onto the field you’d be foolish to get in their

Let’s begin with our middles. First, there’s DJ Sash one of our most experienced players. This veteran plays as hard as she party’s and loves finishing a try in style by diving for the line. Keep a look out for her this season as she tries to bring back bitch braids. Second, there is Sandra. While Sandra deliberated a club swap earlier in the season, she eventually saw reason and decided to remain loyal to the Bullets. With acceleration and speed equivalent to Usain Bolt’s she is one you can’t miss on the field. Third there is Jenny To who likes to show off her fitness by wearing park run merchandise to training. You can spot JT on the field wearing visors day and night and throwing the longest of long balls. Fourth, we have Jaime, our very own private school girl. Ja'ime decided to make a career swap this year from the Roosters to the Bullets and boy are we happy to have her. Born in 2001, this young gun has moves beyond her years and will be sure to show the veterans how it is done. Finally, there is the captain Anna, who envisages herself as the next Bella Burns. In true Bella style, you’ll most likely see her rocking up to games on her new bike. However, she’s got a way to go as her bike still has the training wheels on.

Next, our links. First, there is Emma D, the veteran leading
all of our newbies who are taking on the link position. Emma runs the slickest
of sweeper lines and has the smoothest of scooper pick-ups. You will be able to
hear the sounds of her pump-up playlist in the distance a good 10min before she
arrives. Next there is Keely, another member of our team who has realised that
Bullets is the place to be (sorry Sharks). Keely loves a wild party, and that’s
why she decided to attend her grandma’s birthday instead of uni games this year.
However, we forgive her when she does killer runs down the sideline getting us
those much-needed meters. Third, there is Nicole. As a new player Nicole is willing
to learn and always gives 110%, but rumour has it she’s reduced a few refs to
tears in social games so who knows what to expect on the field. Fourth there is
Laura T. Laura has learnt the ropes quickly and runs the perfect line when
subbing on, setting up the team for a textbook finish to the set. Fifth, there
is Meera, our specialist doctor/player. With Meera in the team the rest of the
girls will be playing fearlessly knowing that a medic will be quickly on hand.

Last but not least are our wingers. There is Lippy, the mum
of our team. Having formerly played in division 1 she brings great experience
and wisdom. You’ll be able to hear Lippy from a mile away as she guides our
team through the perfect box set. There is also Laura M. Laura enjoys
fraternising with the enemy and getting us inside tips on the Roosters.
However, on the field there is no question where her loyalty lies as she
shutdowns our opposition with some killer wing D. Finally, there is Mon, our
drama queen from NIDA. While she is a star actor, everyone is expecting her
greatest performance to come from this season!

This team had a bye in the first Vawdon round, giving them
extra time to train and an edge on the other teams. So make sure you keep a
look out for these girls this season, they guarantee an exciting game (and
hopefully a Div 2 Championship!).    

Men's Division Two: (Late) Season Preview

The initial Men’s D2 submission was initially rejected by Bullets Website Overload, Count Fenji. Post this rejection the Men's D2 team was mercilessly reminded that, ‘this is compulsory.’

The Men's D2 team comes off the back of arguably its most successful season to date, after a Vawdon Grand Final appearance and a State Cup Title, both expectations and positivity is high for our 2019 campaign.

Round 1 got our season underway in the right direction with a 6 - 4 win against Ryde @ B-Town. A very strong start saw Men's D2 up 5-1, however, a brief period of weak defence saw the final score not a true reflection of the game. Lessons learnt for the rest of the season.

This year’s squad has been marred by controver-say, with Sensei Say’s ex-roommate, fresh from Italy, Special Agent Kelly, making a late showing at training this week. Some question his fitness after eating copious amounts of Gelato and not having any time to exercise due to his rigorous social media campaign, that we all had to endure.

His lack of fitness will be offset by State Cup Men's D2 MVP, Hasso, who, after making his Premier League debut last week, was remarkably fresh (and clean) after the game. Obviously showing how extremely fit and balanced he is being able to ensure a full 40-minute Premier League game with such ease and cleanliness.

The controver-say continues with rumours circulating of a Men's D2 faction having alignment to another, unsanctioned touch football media outlet. The club wishes to take this opportunity to advise that any players violating their mandatory exclusivity clause with https://www.unswtouchfootball.org.au/ will have their contracts terminated with UNSW Touch immediately.

This reporter will not make any further comments at this stage.

End Communication

Women's Division Two: Season Preview

Vawdon touch football Fridays are back and the third women’s squad couldn’t be more pumped. After poaching players from various social and representative teams (shout-out to Balmain Tigers for donating almost a quarter of the team) the squad is filled with the best and brightest around. Headed by coach Bri Anderson who plays div one women’s for the club, we’ve chosen Justine Mackenzie’s border collie puppy, Joey, as our team mascot to intimidate and psych out our opposition. Since no one seems to have been able to figure out how to make the whole bullet mascot thing work, we’ve chosen this terrifying ball of fluff as the next best thing.

We may not be in the top squad but we work hard and play hard. While we definitely have a reputation to get around club events, most of the team train both at the mandatory session and optional skills, while also playing at multiple park competitions throughout the week. Shout out to Meena Subramanyam who flies to and from Melbourne every week and still manages to make training work, and to Su An Hui who had to get stitches after a particularly intense pre-season scooping drill. Don’t sweat it though, she’s now recovered, locked and loaded to head up our wingers' squad.

To start off we have Cassie, team playmaker and speedster, known for stepping all the boys at Monday night social. Jenaya Goodacre also brings her soccer skills, in both her fancy footwork and explosive running off the drive and through our line attack plays. Our other middles are Abby Friend and Lindsay Bennett, who love to chat on and off the field and are truly the on-field communication glue the team needs – particularly when Sophie Petersen Tym whips out the rugby terminology to send the whole team into confusion. 

Justine, apart from bringing team baby/ terrifying mascot Joey, is one of our lightning fast links. A bullets veteran, both she and Emilie Tremblay are our main girls to take off from dummy and burn the defence on the inside. Also a long-term member of the Bullets family is Seraphina Brown, who’s had a position switch-up this year and moved into link to bring both her amazing defensive and communication skills.

On the other hand, we have a fair few newbies in the team too, including Natalie Chiu, Naomi Halim and Kim Nguyen. Each of them have proven themselves to be crazy quick learners and huge assets to the team. Though they haven’t been at the club long, we can’t wait to dominate the field as their untapped potential is let out by star coach Bri and they really come into their own.           

Of course, we can’t forget about our wingers, who are central to the whole operation. Ama Anwar and Kat Jansen are both irreplaceable, screaming at us to get back onside and communicating the touch count when it all gets a bit hectic in the middle of the field. Though not actually a winger, we can’t wait to showcase Vanessa Tan’s super speed as she burns the opposition on the outside during the box drive to convert try after try.

In a nutshell, despite being a relatively fresh team we’re excited for a successful season of tippity tap and good times. To sum up our hopes and dreams for the season, in the wise words of tennis legend Serena Williams: 'We’re really exciting. We smile a lot, we win a lot, and we’re really sexy'.

Girls Youth League: Season Preview

Introducing the “elite” Bullets Girls Youth League team for 2019! We have players coming from all around Australia representing us in this upcoming season. Girls from Tamworth, Kempsey and even the East! We are a determined team who are ready to fight and leave it all out on the touch-field. We are pumped for the season and can’t wait to achieve great results. But I feel it is necessary for me to introduce our team personally.

To begin, we have to acknowledge our coach – Morton. Though he is not the most athletic and looks like he has had one two many trips to Maccas, Morton knows everything about the sport and is very dedicated to our team. Morton is an integral peacekeeper in the team, remaining calm in all situations especially when the referee makes an “incorrect” call against us.

Alternatively, our team captain Lucy Collard is known to be a bit explosive towards the referees during games. Though she may talk back to a referee, she surely proves her importance on the touch-field with her incredible diving quickies and her leadership.

This year, we have a new grom who is ironically the tallest girl in the team. Jess Keir may be a cripple and new to the team from Kempsey but is already a vital player in our team. We also have another Jess – Jess Norman. She is also new this year as we have snatched her from the “east” and is already fitting into the team like a glove. Our final newbie player is Jada Taylor. Though Jada is used to playing in green and gold for Australia in Rugby Union, she is ready for a new challenge and we can’t wait to showcase her amazing stepping skills.

Though this next player is not a new face, Lucy Thompson is finally stepping out of the “development squad” and is ready for the Friday night games competing. This is all due to her ongoing commitment to working out at Orange Theory.

Moving on to the fastest player in the team – Molly Henry. Though you may not see her on the field because she is too speedy, Molly is very dedicated to the team. She is stepping outside her Mosman comfort zone and travelling out to places like Bankstown and Chifley with the team. There is only on one condition of course. There must be a boat jetty for her to park her boat to games and training!

Next, is our visually impaired player – Milly Hookway. Although Milly is blind in her left eye, that doesn’t stop her scoring tries and getting around the defence. We just have to remember to keep her on the left side of the field.

It seems our team has a few too many cripples but Charlie Scott seems to never let her 100-year-old back and dodgy knees get in the way of her amazing skills. We are pretty sure she hurt her back carrying the team through last Vawdon, so fingers crossed we can all help her out this year.

In every team you need some secret weapons, and for us, our secret weapons are our speedy links. Introducing the twins – Mia and Chloe. Although Morton may still not be able to tell them apart after 3 years, these girls are vital to this team as they can outrun any defence and make spectacular breakaway tries.

Another speedy link is Ash Satterthwaite. You may know this name from her viral Tic Toks but she is seriously a vital member of the team, always putting in 110%. This season, new positions have been distributed to certain players, and for Ali Waddington, she has been promoted from wing to middle. She is certainly going to succeed in this new position especially as she scares the defence with her constant open-mouth when she has the ball and is running. Hopefully you don't catch too many flies!

The player that stands out the most on the touch-field would have to be Hattie Williams. Her shining orange complexion after applying fresh fake tan earlier in the day definitely helps to distract the opposition. Fia Calabria also stands out in our team of majority blonds, as she is our resident ranga. Though she prefers horse riding, Leila Wyril is a great asset to our team though she is one of the most clumsy and often has many stacks. Finally, the player who is the slowest scooper the touch world has ever seen - myself who wrote this preview- Lily Jennings.

The Bullets female youth girls team 2019 is ready for a great season full of laughs and hopefully many wins!

Men's Division Four: Season Preview

The Vawdon Div 4 boys appear to be the most diverse and interesting
team at the club. Timmy D hopes that the following people will heed his sage
advice, particularly when they play on the Parramatta Fields named after his

Firstly, there is a strong French presence that has not been felt in Australia since the introduction of the croissant at Coles in the 1970s. In line with the French passion for fashion, François enjoys wearing a nice white scarf. Little does he know that the scarf serves as a subliminal message to the opposition that they are likely to be leaving the fields with neck braces after trying to save his dives. We also have our own resident Napoleon Bonaparte incarnate in none other than Jacques. Small in stature, big in heart. Pierre also makes the occasional appearance; happy wife happy life. Confusingly, however, Alain is often seen sporting a singlet with Japanese dolphin insignia, perhaps in support of sustainable fishing practices and wildlife preservation. Don’t poison the poisson.

Secondly, we have high hopes in some of our local recruits. James
Arnold (Schwarzenegger) made good his promise to ‘be back’ and try out for a
rep team this year. We are looking forward to seeing him score as many tries
this season as there are centimetres in the circumference of his biceps. We
also have Adam and we hope he can teach us the Sipi Tau so that we can be as intimidating as Jason Taumalolo when
he runs a crash line. Finally, our speedy Charlie Gill seems to have been named
after an international rugby league player in the 1950s. His parents clearly
have high expectations. If Charlie can keep making those quick dumps on
middles, he’ll have found the Golden Ticket for a Vawdon medal.

Thirdly, coach Timmy’s international scouting campaign was a
success. Zain is currently heading in One Direction – the opposition try line.
Although he has been struck by ‘A Whole New World’ of university exams since
coming from Dubai, he’s ‘Still Got Time’ to play some touch from ‘Dusk Till
Dawn’ on Friday nights. Peter Benson is also bringing us the ‘Luck of the
Irish’. If he can play ball like Johnny Sexton or Conor Murray we’ll take home
the Six Suburbs Championship. We also have Tom from Holland who can windmill a

Fourthly, we have some who are near and dear to others in the Bullets family: the First Gentleman of the Club (Chris), who scandalously supports the Tigers; and Keith (lightning) Mac(queen) – never has there been a man with quicker feet.

Fifthly, we have some old heads in the squad. Sam ‘Random
Souths Guy’ Zaf is back from injury and is as loyal to the club as Darius Boyd
is to Wayne Bennett. Patrick is a veteran Wing Commander and is not afraid to
catch a few missiles sent his way. Michael, our co-captain, is out to prove
that he is not as injury prone as his brother and is keen to moot the laws of
the game with the refs. We will also be having guest appearances from an Alpine
G.O.A.T – Ryan.

Finally, there is Joey the co-captain clown who wrote this
preview: ‘If we don’t know what we are
doing, the enemy certainly can’t anticipate our future actions’ – Colonel

Now recruiting referee's

With a number of competitions on the horizon, the UNSW Touch Club are now looking for referee's to represent the club.

Refereeing is a fantastic opportunity to be actively involved with our club. We are currently looking for referee's for our Monday social competition, Tuesday junior's social competition, as well as for Vawdon and State Cup's.

Referee's in our social competitions are paid based on their level of experience/qualification.

Representative referee's at Vawdon and State Cup's are remunerated based on qualification, as well as for travel costs, etc.

If you are interested in becoming a referee for the UNSW Touch Club, please get in contact with Manu, our Technical Director via the contact form below.

Jamie Chan Wins NSW Senior Player of the Year

Bullets, Rebels, NSW and Australian representative Jamie Chan has been awarded NSW Senior Player of the Year at the 2019 NSW Touch Awards night.

Jamie has played for the Bullets for the last two years and was instrumental in bringing our club its first Mens Division One championships, both at Vawdon Cup and State Cup.

Congratulations Jamie on a well-deserved award.

Bullets Men Complete the Double

Our boys have done what no other Bullets team has done before. Complete the Vawdon Cup - State Cup double. In a thrilling game that went down to the wire, the Bullets Mens Division One team were able to hold off a fast-finishing Parramatta to win the club's first division one State Cup in their brief history.

To catch the entire game, check out the video at:


Vawdon Cup Champions

After many years of trying, and a whole bunch of close calls, the Bullets have finally won a Division One championship, with the Mens team taking out the 2019 title.

Check out the match below